So every now and then (sometimes more than that) I do this thing where I eat in the car, usually something bad for me, and then I pretend that since no one saw me do it it didn't really happen.
Real life, people. Maybe you don't do secret eating but I'm guessing there is something that you could equate to this, right?
This sort of "secret" eating has always bothered me. It's not like I am going on a crazy binge or anything, but just the fact that in my head it "doesn't count" makes me feel incredibly guilty. And I don't know about you, but I HATE feeling guilty.
The other day I read a wonderful little article on integrity. You can find it here. It is about aligning your integrity with your core values. Are you doing daily what you believe in? Do your outward actions match your inner convictions? Some people call this "walking the walk."
In general I think most of us believe we live a life of integrity. I know I do, but when I really started digging into this idea that sometimes little bits of our lives can fall "out" of integrity, I realized that there are certain things that I do that don't always jive with what I want to do. I've fallen out of integrity in those areas. The thing with being out of integrity is that it can cause a lot of unwanted emotions and feelings and can even cause stress and anxiety. I definitely do not need more of that.
Why do I feel so guilty when I secretly eat chips in my car? Is it because the food is bad for me? Maybe, but really I think it is more about the fact that by doing it in secret I am not owning my behavior and so am not living in my full integrity of someone that wants to be healthy and honest and open. I rarely feel guilty for having treats when I am with my kids or out to dinner.
So this is me telling you that I'm making some changes. I'm pulling myself into my integrity. If I choose to eat something in the car, I'll let someone know. It will be a public treat for all to see. Not because you need to know what I'm eating, but because I need to know I am being true to myself.
Do you have any small part of your life that needs to be pulled into integrity? What is one small way you can start to do that today?