Sometimes I wish that I was the kind of mom that is fun and laughing all the time. The kind of mom that never yells and posts sweet things about her kids on Facebook all the time. The kind of mom that does crafts with her kids and makes 27 packages of treats for her kids class on Valentine's Day.
Then I realize I am the best mom my kids could have. God gave me my sons and He gave my sons me. I'm pretty sure He knew what He was doing.
Sometimes I wish my house was less messy and the clothes were folded nice and neat in the correct drawer, that there were never dirty dishes in the sink and the floor got swept every day, and that there weren't small piles of books and work and toys here and there.
Then I realize that having a clean house doesn't mean as much as I think it does. That allowing my kids and myself to be a bit messy inspires creativity and lessens rather than creates tension in our house. It allows us to be who we are.
Sometimes I wish I didn't have to work so hard to control my weight. That I didn't have to think all the time about what I was eating. That I was just naturally thin.
Then I realize that one of the best things about me as a coach and a teacher is my own experience. If this was a struggle that I never had to deal with how much harder would it be for me to understand others who experience this same struggle?
Sometimes I wish things were just easier. That I didn't have to practice so hard to be a good flutist. That I didn't have to think so hard to be a good coach. That I didn't have to try so hard at life.
Then I realize that if everything were easy, my life would be boring. That I wouldn't have stories to share. That I would not be Kelly.
Sometimes I wish that I would just figure it all out.
Then I realize that on some days, I am actually doing just that.