Today I had a mega swim and a hill repeat ride on my schedule.
Got the swim done, minus 100 yards because I ran out of time and had to leave to get Noah on the bus. All morning long I had been going back and forth as to whether or not I would try the ride outside or just get it done on my trainer. On the one hand, it would be great to be outside. On the other hand, I would have to drive to get to a place that had a hill long enough for my workout. I knew I would have more control over my effort if I stayed inside. I also try to stay fairly close to home when I am riding while the boys are in school because you never know.
In the end I opted for the trainer because the weather looked iffy and I figured putting the bike on the car, driving out to the spot, and getting ready and then finishing up and heading home would put me to close to missing the bus for comfort. About 10 minutes into my ride, the phone rang with the principal on the other line, and just like that my ride was paused and I was in the car headed to pick up Ryan.
I was angry. Angry that my ride got interrupted, but more angry that my child was being sent home because the school doesn't understand him, angry that I can't figure out a way to get through to him and help him, angry that words like "inappropriate" and "disrespectful" are words used to describe my child over and over again, just plain angry. I opted for not speaking too many words at school when I picked him up since I was not in the right place to say anything worth while - the old "if you can't say anything nice..." rule was in full effect for me today.
Later this afternoon I was thinking about how hard it is to be a parent, and I had a sudden realization. I don't choose to do things in life because they are easy. In triathlon, a challenge is welcome. 140.6 miles is not easy, but I freely choose to challenge myself with it. Why? For the same reason we choose to do other things that are hard, like parenting.
Because it is worth it.
It is worth every effort, every phone call from the principal, every tear I shed in frustration, anger and sadness, every regret for yelling too loudly or losing my temper. I was given this life because God knew I was capable of living it. It might not be easy, but it will be worth it.