I'm not really sure what it is about poop and my children, but there is some kind of connection there for sure.
Tonight I went into the downstairs bathroom and noticed there was no more toilet paper on the roll. Right before I grabbed the empty tube I noticed some streaks on it. Very strange.
I went in for a closer look, and my nose quickly confirmed my sneaking suspicion that one of my children was once again up to no good in the bathroom. I knew that Ryan had spent an unusual amount of time in the bathroom this afternoon, so I called him downstairs.
After he stopped laughing (because I informed him with my best mommy voice that it most certainly was NOT funny), he told me that he had run out of toilet paper so he used the roll (which, mind you, was still on the toilet paper holder.)
I asked him how he got the smears onto the roll.
"With my hand."
"So let me get this straight," I said. "You ran out of toilet paper, so you used your hand to wipe your butt and then you wiped it on the empty roll?"
Ryan: "I washed my hands when I was done!"
Mommy: "So that means you touched the faucet AND the soap with your disgusting wiper hands?"
I then made him throw out the smeared TP roll in the OUTSIDE garbage, and wipe down every single surface in the bathroom with multiple clorox wipes.
Bonus! A clean bathroom!
Afterward, I walked into the kitchen and Kel says, "We were just talking about how they used to do that in India, but they don't anymore..."
I sometimes think that I am the only mother who has experiences like this. Then, I realize, no, I'm just the only mother who actually admits them.