Monday, May 23, 2011

Seven Miles

Do you ever just have one of those runs that are just plain hard?  Not hard in a good way, but hard as in, you don't know why you are running so slowly, you look at your watch certain that another 5 minutes has gone by and really it's only been 45 seconds, your bra is bugging you, the gel didn't taste right, the water belt keeps hitching up, you are mad at your coach for everything, your kids are driving you crazy and they aren't even with you, which, of course, makes you mad at your husband, and then, to top it all off, BAM, your heel starts hurting for no good reason at all?

Have you ever had one of those?

I had one of those yesterday.  It was not pretty.

I couldn't even write about it yesterday, it was so ugly.  I literally almost started crying...over a run.  I felt ridiculous.  I have a wonderful life and here I am crying over a silly run.  I should be thankful I can run!

Of course, it wasn't just about running.  It was about feeling heavy, and being stressed out about my kids, and being tired, and being injured.

I vented to Coach Mary, who calmly replied to me that I need to separate the training from the personal.


huh?


She also told me she thought this was a breakthrough.


huh?


Some days are going to be hard.  That is not a reflection of myself as an athlete.  It is a small snapshot.  It is seven miles of a year that will bring many more miles than that; seven more miles in the bank, no matter how hard they were to get there; seven miles that I needed, in more ways than one; seven miles I don't have to, don't want to give back; seven miles I am thankful for.

Sometimes it's okay to just be mad.  Coach Mary taught me that yesterday, and for that, I am thankful.

Seven hard miles that became a breakthrough.

7 comments :

  1. oh man have I been there many times. I have learned to just go with it, and when it's over let it go. Since reading Ryan Hall's book, when I am feeling bad especially I tell myself over and over during the run "run with joy", and be grateful that I have the ability to move. Keep you chin up-you DID have a breakthrough

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  2. I think all "Tri Mommies and Wives" have that happen! We have so much that we need to balance to even be able to take a step out the door, that just logging the miles is a victory some days. I think I had a blog post in the past few weeks that sounded something very similar. At least we know that there are better runs to come :-)

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  3. I'm sorry you had one of those runs. I have totally been there before and know exactly what you're talking about! The good thing about them is that they help you appreciate all of the other runs we do that go awesome! :)

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  4. I am a firm believer that being angry or upset is simply a clue as to what's lying underneath. From there it is discovering what is going on externally, taking it all in, coming back with insight, improving, and then doing it all over again about something else. Glad to hear you had a horrible run. :)

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  5. Kelly
    Great post. And the insight from Mary is one of those reminders of how important it is to get some distance from those bad training day. Break on through to the other side.
    Ben

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  6. I have those days .... many too often to count ;)

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  7. Those days definitely come and go. You still made it through and you'll feel better the next day!

    I agree that it's a breakthrough though. It halps you realize that they really are separate parts of your life. I've worked a lot to separate those emotions.

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