Do you ever just have one of those runs that are just plain hard? Not hard in a good way, but hard as in, you don't know why you are running so slowly, you look at your watch certain that another 5 minutes has gone by and really it's only been 45 seconds, your bra is bugging you, the gel didn't taste right, the water belt keeps hitching up, you are mad at your coach for everything, your kids are driving you crazy and they aren't even with you, which, of course, makes you mad at your husband, and then, to top it all off, BAM, your heel starts hurting for no good reason at all?
Have you ever had one of those?
I had one of those yesterday. It was not pretty.
I couldn't even write about it yesterday, it was so ugly. I literally almost started crying...over a run. I felt ridiculous. I have a wonderful life and here I am crying over a silly run. I should be thankful I can run!
Of course, it wasn't just about running. It was about feeling heavy, and being stressed out about my kids, and being tired, and being injured.
I vented to Coach Mary, who calmly replied to me that I need to separate the training from the personal.
She also told me she thought this was a breakthrough.
Some days are going to be hard. That is not a reflection of myself as an athlete. It is a small snapshot. It is seven miles of a year that will bring many more miles than that; seven more miles in the bank, no matter how hard they were to get there; seven miles that I needed, in more ways than one; seven miles I don't have to, don't want to give back; seven miles I am thankful for.
Sometimes it's okay to just be mad. Coach Mary taught me that yesterday, and for that, I am thankful.
Seven hard miles that became a breakthrough.