Lost: mojo, motivation, general desire to train or eat well. Lost around March 30th, not sure where or why.
Found: today on Kellogg Road, somewhere between miles 4 and 5 of a six mile run...the best run I've had in a very long time.
Yep, I was afraid I had lost it. I had no desire to do anything. I have been cutting my workouts short or trying to talk myself out of them all week long. I have also been eating whatever I want, which, trust me, is not a good thing. I was definitely in a funk. I was considering pulling out of some races. I even told Kel I thought I might be depressed and that was why I was eating bowls of cereal. He told me depressed people don't eat when I tried to convince him to go out last night and buy some ice cream.
Then today, I went for an hour-long run on my favorite road that has been snowed in all winter. I ran without music and just listened to my head and my heart and my breath. I wore short sleeves and capri running pants. I saw a policeman playing with his K-9 partner in a field. I heard the peepers that assured me spring is finally here. I left the judgement at home. I didn't think about my pace or racing or anyone I might be competing against. I just ran, and it was a beautiful thing.
Lost and found. Sometimes we don't appreciate the things we have until we have lost them. And the finding is made that much better by knowing how much we have missed them.