Wonderful You Wednesday: Fake It Until You Feel It
Welcome to Wonderful You Wednesday at My Life as a Trimommy. This is an ongoing series where I will have a post by myself or a guest that focuses on body image and self esteem.This week's guest blogger is my friend and fellow blogger, Molly Baker. Check out her blog, I'm a Sleeper Baker.
I'm going to put it right out there. In a year and a half, I'm turning 40.
I don't feel like I'm getting closer to this milestone, and since I still get carded at the liquor store, hopefully I don't look it either. Well, aside from those lines that are creeping out around my eyes. As I think through my life so far, I've been pretty confident about myself, but like everyone, I've also had major moments of self doubt. But the one thing I've learned, is that when I'm physically active, I'm a happy, confident person.
I was always active growing up, playing tennis and wiffle ball, swimming and riding my bike. I joined sports teams in High School, including Field Hockey, where we drank Diet Pepsi along with water during practice. (it was the '80's, we didn't know any better). I turned a critical eye onto myself after I became a cheerleader, comparing myself to some of the other, barely thinner girls. I filled some of my days with Slim Fast and grapefruit. When I look at photos of myself from that time, I ask myself, why? Why did I do that to myself when there was no need? College was another story. This time when I looked at skinny girls, then back at my own Freshman Fifteen body, I'd just hide my Grunge loving self inside flannel shirts and jeans, go to Happy Hour, then eat a pint of ice cream while watching Melrose Place.
After I graduated, and was out in the professional world, I woke up. I got myself back in the gym, started eating better, and feeling better. It was about that time that I hit upon my credo, Fake It Until You Feel It. At work I had to feel confident, otherwise I wouldn't succeed. I bought myself some power suits, pretended I had nothing to lose, and it worked. This attitude spilled into my active life. I got back into running, doing races. And the confidence just grew. It stayed with me when I got married, stayed with me when I had my children. After my daughter was born, I knew I had to keep up the confidence, in order to be a good role model for her.
And now, I'm much better about comparing myself to others, but sure, I have my moments. Like when I take the kids to the pool and I see other Mom's rocking a true bikini and I'm waltzing around in my tankini. Then I remind myself that they probably didn't run 8 miles that morning, like me. Ultimately, who cares if they did or didn't, because I'm proud of the fact that I did.
My self confidence has evolved to the point that I'm running my first marathon this weekend. I haven't even run it yet, and I'm already thinking about the next thing I'll take on. One thing is for sure, I'm a work in progress, always evolving.