Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Wonderful You Wednesday: Learning to Honor Myself



Welcome to Wonderful You Wednesday at My Life as a Trimommy.  This is an ongoing series where I will have a post by myself or a guest that focuses on body image and self esteem.


Hey there! My name is Mish and I blog over at EatingJourney.com.




I have been asked to share my thoughts on self-love, body love….the whole kitten-ca-budel. I have recently talked about how I am working on overcoming a binge-eating disorder…and work on shaking the diet mentality…for intuitive eating.


I am not too sure that I am an expert, but I think that I’ll start one year ago when I was in East Timor.


I went to East Timor about six months after I broke up with my ex and it was the beginning of an awakening for me.




For two weeks I didn’t obsessively weight myself, eat jars and jars of almond butter, bake so I could eat have a pan of brownies and then go and run to punish myself for the ‘bad things’ I had done for myself. Or puke in the shower while I cried.


Even after that amazing trip, I still struggled. The binging still happened. I still felt out of control.



I still struggled.
Struggled STRUGGLED!


Then I decided to do a crazy post called ‘Exposed. Where I took my binge induced, heavier, sad, depressed body and made myself find things that I was proud about for it.



Then one, two, three…58 more people did it.


I still struggled. I still didn’t believe in my heart that I would EVER overcome being a binger.


Then I let it all out. I told the world I was a binger and was ready to overcome my disordered eating. That I was weak, but I am recovering. That I was going to fight back my loving myself.


I think that thing I have realised is that I had spent the vast majority of my life trying to FIX myself. I had never thought that in any moment that I was enough. That is what dieting will do..it robs you of your innate confidence and self-worth. Because when you’re on a diet, you’re ALWAYS trying to fix who you are, and you lose track of who you are.


I am now focusing on just being myself.



It’s scary and it demands that I have to deal with the negative ‘tapes’ that run through my head. But I will tell you one thing: I wouldn’t have it any other way.


What do you LOVE ABOUT YOU…RIGHT NOW?


~Mish
www.eatingjourney.com

9 comments :

  1. what a wonderful post. right now I love my focus. I see my goals and I am doing everything in my power to reach them.

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  2. Oh that is a fabulous post! I love it.

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  3. Mish .. more power to you for putting it all out there. Years ago a therapist told me that you are NEVER cured of an eating disorder... that it goes into remission. I refuse REFUSE to believe that... though I won't lie it comes back from time to time, but it DOES NOT rule my life anymore! You are awesome.. you are doing awesome.. both by facing this and by facing it OUT LOUD in front of people so we can all grow stronger together!!!!

    L

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  4. Oh.. what do I love about me right now... hmm lot's of things. I LOVE that I am figuring out this cooking thing (for my family.. healthy whole foods), I love the arms/shoulders I am ever so slowly sculpting. I love that I am starting to enjoy swimming!

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  5. Mish, thank you for doing this post and sharing your story. I have dealt with body image problems my entire life, but I am happy to say that they have gotten better with time. So, what I love about my body right now is that it was strong enough to get me through my Half Ironman last weekend! yay!

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  6. Thank you so much for letting me do this post. I had such a rough night last night, negative mental tapes--no binging :), and to wake up and to see my own words is powerful

    BUT it's even more powerful to see people who are commenting and sharing their stories. Thank you everyone!

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  7. I have never loved my body. Now, I have 2 children, 4 yrs and 10 months, and I have completed my first sprint triathlon, and will be doing my second this weekend. I am smaller than I have ever been in my adult life, and I am loving it! Am I the weight that I always thought would be perfect? No. But I have truly come to realize that it doesn't matter what the number is. I know people always say that, but it is becoming a reality for me. This has been such an adjustment in my mentality. I have never not wanted to lose a few pounds, or never looked in the mirror and thought, "Wow, I look thin." It is a great feeling to see some new diet advertised and not wonder if I should try it.

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  8. Something I love: I swim as a triathlete and I'm always learning something new. Today I dove off the blocks for the first time, I squeeled a little before hitting the water, but felt happy that I did it.

    Thanks for this series & for sharing your story Mish! I'm too trying to focus on just being myself. There's a song with the words "free to be me" that I like.

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  9. Just want to say thanks to Mish for doing this for me (and all of us)! So powerful!!

    Now, what do I love about me right now? I love my honesty with myself and with others about who I am.

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