This blog has become something very interesting for me. It has become my outlet and my refuge. It is the place where I can just be. It has become the place where I work through things. The fact that others join with me in doing this doesn't seem to bother me at all, for better or for worse.
If you have been reading for any length of time, you probably have the sense that I am generally happy in life and extremely blessed, which is absolutely true. Rarely, do I have worries that even seem negligible. This week, however, was a rough week for me, and I have learned something. I wasn't going to write about it here, but I'm hoping that if I get it out I can just move on.
So, without going into details, let me just say that my ego has been totally battered this week. This has nothing to do with training, fortunately, that seems to be one place where my ego doesn't seem to be a problem. (That might have something to do with my very real lack of speed!) In other areas of my life, however, I think my pride might just have gotten the better of me...and all good Sunday school girls know that pride cometh before a fall.
Well, my fall came, and I hope I can pick myself up and learn from the bruises this week has left on me. Every time a hit came this week, I was angry and the anger stayed and simmered, but ultimately, I realized that, as with everything, there are lessons to be learned.
First of all, I must leave my ego at the door, because if I bring it with me it will get beat up...eventually, anyway. I have learned this lesson before, but apparently it didn't stick the last time (or the times before that). I need to be confident in my abilities, but at the same time be open to suggestions and criticism.
Secondly, it's okay if everyone doesn't love me. It's shocking, but okay. ;)
Thirdly, I can blame no one else for my own mistakes. This is something I have really been trying to teach Ryan lately, and it looks like I need to heed my own words a bit better.
Sorry for the heavy post this evening, but I needed to get it out.